I can't sleep. Spinning about Andrew, what the funeral will be like, logistics of death. I'm also realizing that my grandmother's death in December was not that fucking long ago--two deaths in my family in four months' time. I think I've been holding it together too tightly--I need to freak out. The decision-making about the funeral and the celebration of his life have been slow, and everyone has been feeling an unsettling state of limbo. It's not fun. I wish I could've cancelled work and school this week to spend more time with my family, but I really couldn't do it.
This sucks.
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