It's been just about three weeks since this
mutual crush was revealed between Myna and me. Over this three weeks, we've managed to spend time together, dream of one another, and continue to hold off on the kissing, on the sex, but the groping is something else entirely. There is something both glaringly wrong with, and completely organic to, our situation in all the grabbing, holding, hair pulling, nuzzling, clawing, intense squeezing, very nearly humping that we're doing together without having kissed on the lips, without removing a shred of clothing. It feels complete in itself, and also unfinished. We agreed this week that we are doing something very odd and awkward in a space that falls somewhere between friendship and dating. I wonder if calling it "dating" would make some sort of psychic difference, as I'm finding it hard to capture, and in essence, to comprehend what this is that we're doing. I asked her if I could call her my "potential future-lover and current clit-tease" and she was game. It's now morphed into just "clit-tease" for brevity's sake.
Why don't we get it over with and fuck, you ask (knowing as you do that Ms. Bree never holds off if it can be helped)? There are two reasons at present for us to be cautious, even though heavy groping is not really the most cautious m.o. on the books. One is that we know each other professionally. Our working relationship will end in about two and a half months, so that won't be a problem for much longer. The other, much more salient factor is that Myna is attempting to sit with the concept that I have a main squeeze, and that I'm not available for a full partnership with her. She doesn't have any experience with open relationships, though she's keen at the very least on talking about it, perhaps reading about it, and mulling over what this might be like for her. Meanwhile, Astrid has been completely amazing in holding all this, and our communication has been excellent—sticky in moments, but once we get to talking about real feelings that are emerging, we are tender and real with one another, and we give each other the spaciousness to work through it all. Although Astrid and Myna have met briefly a couple times, they haven't spent any time together since all this energy has coalesced and been revealed between us, so that will probably be one of the next steps that we pursue. Exciting, anxiety-inducing, and compelling, all.
It's been just about three weeks since this mutual crush was revealed between Myna and me. Over this three weeks, we've managed to spend time together, dream of one another, and continue to hold off on the kissing, on the sex, but the groping is something else entirely. There is something both glaringly wrong with, and completely organic to, our situation in all the grabbing, holding, hair pulling, nuzzling, clawing, intense squeezing, very nearly humping that we're doing together without having kissed on the lips, without removing a shred of clothing. It feels complete in itself, and also unfinished. We agreed this week that we are doing something very odd and awkward in a space that falls somewhere between friendship and dating. I wonder if calling it "dating" would make some sort of psychic difference, as I'm finding it hard to capture, and in essence, to comprehend what this is that we're doing. I asked her if I could call her my "potential future-lover and current clit-tease" and she was game. It's now morphed into just "clit-tease" for brevity's sake.
Why don't we get it over with and fuck, you ask (knowing as you do that Ms. Bree never holds off if it can be helped)? There are two reasons at present for us to be cautious, even though heavy groping is not really the most cautious m.o. on the books. One is that we know each other professionally. Our working relationship will end in about two and a half months, so that won't be a problem for much longer. The other, much more salient factor is that Myna is attempting to sit with the concept that I have a main squeeze, and that I'm not available for a full partnership with her. She doesn't have any experience with open relationships, though she's keen at the very least on talking about it, perhaps reading about it, and mulling over what this might be like for her. Meanwhile, Astrid has been completely amazing in holding all this, and our communication has been excellent—sticky in moments, but once we get to talking about real feelings that are emerging, we are tender and real with one another, and we give each other the spaciousness to work through it all. Although Astrid and Myna have met briefly a couple times, they haven't spent any time together since all this energy has coalesced and been revealed between us, so that will probably be one of the next steps that we pursue. Exciting, anxiety-inducing, and compelling, all.
1 comment:
*titter*
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