I'm a total dork.

I spent my free time this weekend creating a Yahoo group for alumni of my old Jewish summer camp. Not because someone commissioned me to do so, but because I thought it'd be neat! Actually, it's pretty fucking cool. I scanned bunches of old photos from the 80's and posted them, and put out a "welcome" message and then sent invites to all the people from Camp I'm still in touch with, 'bout five or six folks. Then I went onto Myspace and found a few more people and sent them invites, and now I'm just kinda waiting and seeing if anyone will bite and what kinds of pictures and discussion threads might start happening. I think that the site will probably grow to about double the membership now (so, say to ten or so people) within a few weeks, and then it'll probably be in stasis for a long time until other people feel motivated to scan photos and start chats and whatever. Maybe it'll just be the Bree Show; I have no idea at this point.

The photo on the right is classic, 'cause it's such a period piece. I've cropped myself and some other people out of the picture, but the central figure, Jenny (of course her name is Jenny) is not only wearing a John Taylor button, but also not one, but two Swatches on her wrist. Her hair, as well, is totally to die for, n'est-ce pas? This pic was taken in 1985, when we were all about 13 years old. Yes, it is I giving Jenny the "bunny ears" from two seats over. We were on a bus going on some camp field trip, probably to Great America. Ah, mem'ries.

Don't let the name fool you.

Oh my god I'm so freaking excited. Little Darlings is playing at the Castro tonight. Suddenly, more and more of my friends are coming out of the woodwork with their obsessions, too.

It is positively the best movie in the "teenage losing your virginity flick" genre, and Ube and I have been enthralled with it since the mid-80s.

Otherwise, a very relaxing day of dusting, vacuuming, making fresh salsa, and generally enjoying my summer freedom. Seriously, today I got, as Astrid put it, tongue-somewhat-in-cheek, "zen" about my house cleaning. It just feels so good to be nearly done with my bookkeeping gigs and on my way to starting a profession I am compelled by. My internship at the queer mental health clinic starts the first week in August. Meanwhile, I've got actual free time in which to live, and, yes, clean.

Buzzkill?

Sheesh, I thought by now I'd have some responses on the Death Poll, but I guess everyone found it too creepy or something? Or maybe people aren't checking the blog 'cause of the holiday and all. What gives?

I'm off to San Jose today to visit Mom and Schmend. C. is outta town, on a cruise to Alaska, in fact. Dunno if I'll see any of the nieces or nephews on this trip, but that'd be nice. We'll see how the day shapes up. I'll have three good hours of reading time on the train back and forth--hopefully I can finally knock out The Denial of Death because, truth be told, I'm getting a bit sick of reading it, even though it's really eye-opening. Only so much conceptual death I can handle at a time, I guess, but certainly more of it than actual death, right?

Love and stuff,
--Bree

Death Poll

So I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I'm doing my masters thesis on the subject of death. More specifically, I'm going to be exploring the effects of our uniquely human capacity for the awareness of death, or our ability to anticipate death. How does this consciousness of our own demise shape our emotional lives, our psychology, our ability to live in the world, operate in relationships, and exist in our finite bodies? Does it drive us to destruction, violence, and war? Does it give the privileged in the world (white, global north/west, wealthy) a way to disavow death and project it onto people of color and the poor through war, economic oppression, environmental devastation? And on the other hand, can our terror of death motivate us to put forward lasting creative projects in the world (to write books, make babies, found religions) to ensure our own symbolic immortality?

In my reading and research, I'm coming across a lot of different theories, ideas, frameworks. Major influences right now are Ernest Becker, and post-Freudian psychoanalysis (Melanie Klein, Otto Rank, Lacan, and Frantz Fanon). I want to branch out into other disciplines as well, and I'd be interested if anyone has any suggestions for research areas I should check out. I'd particularly like to read more women writers.

Some questions I'm generating at this early stage of the game are as follows. Please consider answering any or all of these questions in the comment section. I'd love to know other people's thoughts in order to get a bigger perspective than just what's been going on in my own head and in my reflections of what I've been reading.


1. Do you think the fear of death, or the denial of death is a "universal" fear, or anything close to a "universal" fear? Can you think of ways in which the fear of death manifests itself either psychologically at the level of individuals, or socio-culturally?

2. Do you think there is such a thing as a "death drive" or an instinct that drives us toward, or compels us toward death psychologically, not just biologically toward entropy and decay?

3. What do you think happens when we die? Do you know what your parent/s think/thought about death? Do your beliefs differ significantly from theirs?

4. How often do you think about, have anxious or curious feelings about, or fantasize/daydream about death? (your own death and/or the death of your loved ones?)

I hope everyone feels very free to leave comments. If you'd rather email your thoughts to me personally, leave a comment with your email address, and I'll send you mine if you don't know it already.

Peace,
--Bree

Freedom!

Finally finished my finals, and I feel fantastic!

I *heart* alliteration.

Anon, here I find myself on the first day of my summer vacation. So much to do, so little time. Off to brunch with B. More later...