I can't sleep. Spinning about Andrew, what the funeral will be like, logistics of death. I'm also realizing that my grandmother's death in December was not that fucking long ago--two deaths in my family in four months' time. I think I've been holding it together too tightly--I need to freak out. The decision-making about the funeral and the celebration of his life have been slow, and everyone has been feeling an unsettling state of limbo. It's not fun. I wish I could've cancelled work and school this week to spend more time with my family, but I really couldn't do it.
This sucks.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday night at home
Spent all weekend down in San Jo with my family. It was alternately sad, boring, devastating, and sometimes poignant and illuminating. I had a lot of time with my sisters, J. and C. We talked about morbid things, like our own eventual deaths and Mom's eventual death. If there's one thing I know about how I wanna go out, it's that everyone needs to drink good booze at the party.
Astrid's studying for her oral exam, and DJ is here, borrowing a computer to write his paper on the filmic representations of Ulysses. I should be studying too, but I'm distracted (I'd like to say because of Andrew's death, which is certainly true as well, but I'll admit that I'm distracted, per yoozsh).
It's amazing, the tonal change that comes with death. It gets one to thinking about the eventual deaths of everyone, and about the deaths that have already come, deaths that were expected, deaths that traumatized. The concentric circles of grief spiral outward and expand to cover everything. I'm normally a body preoccupied with it. I might work with bereaved folks in my practicum next year. I'm probably writing my thesis about it, and I'm currently reading an amazing book about it. I don't consider myself a morbid person; I'm pretty fucking joyful, as a matter of fact. But what can I say? I find death compelling in its terrifyingness, and I embrace the chance to learn from it.
Every time death comes for someone I love, it completely humbles me. Everything I thought I knew, killed. I search for the healing from my dad's death, over thirty years ago, for which I was completely not cognizant, being two and all. The relief comes in tiny bits, macerated in my tears and laughter over decades and decades.
My mom and I had a remarkable conversation on the phone today. Andrew's death is bringing up stuff about Dad's for her, stuff she hasn't fully processed thirty years later, either. She said to me today that she is tired of death, and doesn't want to see anyone else die. Which implied, of course, that she'd rather die than live through another death. I, myself, am bracing for the experience of watching many more of my loved ones die, because, despite the pain of loss, I very much want to live and thrive and survive for a lot longer. But I guess when you're 70 years old, and you buried your husband at age 38, and then years later buried your father, and then your mother, your nephew, your best friends, and your lover, it's really enough. She said she doesn't know what she believes, and it causes her anxiety. Will she be reunited with her loved ones in some sort of cloudy paradise, or will she simply cease to exist? Will she make bedfellows with the worms? Will she live again?
Bed time for me, the kind replete with breathing, dreams, being draped in the arms of the most amazing girl in the world. I'll try to make it til tomorrow, I will.
xo
Bree
Astrid's studying for her oral exam, and DJ is here, borrowing a computer to write his paper on the filmic representations of Ulysses. I should be studying too, but I'm distracted (I'd like to say because of Andrew's death, which is certainly true as well, but I'll admit that I'm distracted, per yoozsh).
It's amazing, the tonal change that comes with death. It gets one to thinking about the eventual deaths of everyone, and about the deaths that have already come, deaths that were expected, deaths that traumatized. The concentric circles of grief spiral outward and expand to cover everything. I'm normally a body preoccupied with it. I might work with bereaved folks in my practicum next year. I'm probably writing my thesis about it, and I'm currently reading an amazing book about it. I don't consider myself a morbid person; I'm pretty fucking joyful, as a matter of fact. But what can I say? I find death compelling in its terrifyingness, and I embrace the chance to learn from it.
Every time death comes for someone I love, it completely humbles me. Everything I thought I knew, killed. I search for the healing from my dad's death, over thirty years ago, for which I was completely not cognizant, being two and all. The relief comes in tiny bits, macerated in my tears and laughter over decades and decades.
My mom and I had a remarkable conversation on the phone today. Andrew's death is bringing up stuff about Dad's for her, stuff she hasn't fully processed thirty years later, either. She said to me today that she is tired of death, and doesn't want to see anyone else die. Which implied, of course, that she'd rather die than live through another death. I, myself, am bracing for the experience of watching many more of my loved ones die, because, despite the pain of loss, I very much want to live and thrive and survive for a lot longer. But I guess when you're 70 years old, and you buried your husband at age 38, and then years later buried your father, and then your mother, your nephew, your best friends, and your lover, it's really enough. She said she doesn't know what she believes, and it causes her anxiety. Will she be reunited with her loved ones in some sort of cloudy paradise, or will she simply cease to exist? Will she make bedfellows with the worms? Will she live again?
Bed time for me, the kind replete with breathing, dreams, being draped in the arms of the most amazing girl in the world. I'll try to make it til tomorrow, I will.
xo
Bree
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Rest in Peace, Beautiful Andrew
My mom called me this morning with the "you'd better sit down" kind of news. My cousin Andrew is dead. His body was found by some kids in a park in San Jose. We don't know the cause of death yet--may have been exposure (it was cold, and he was without a jacket or sleeping bag like he's been so many nights in the last few years), may have been an overdose (he'd been off heroin for months, but I'm guessing a fix at his normal dose might've done it), may have been a recurrence of the alcohol-induced pancreatitis that'd almost killed him a couple times before.
Some of you might remember the discouraging stories about my cousin that have emerged over the last couple years. He's been walking around without proper diagnosis nor treatment for several years, getting more and more paranoid, isolated, and depressed. He most likely had paranoid schizophrenia, and the delusions of conspiracy and being under attack ruled his consciousness to the point that he wouldn't eat food offered him (poison), couldn't sleep in the homes of people who loved him (he was constantly afraid of being gassed), wouldn't take showers (he was convinced that whoever put the toxins on his body wanted them to wash into his body) or accept offers of clothing or help with his mental health (of course drugs or any kind of intervention were all part of the conspiracy). The safety and solace that we offered to him were received ambivalently at the very best, but often, in his delusional perspective, seemed malicious, poisonous, murderous.
He was never violent--only turned terribly inward to his despondence and sadness and fear. He was an amazing blues guitarist, but hardly picked up an instrument in the last two years because he was so defeated. His life was (I can't believe I'm using the past tense) emblematic of how tragic the loss of someone young can be: he was boundlessly creative and talented and funny and kind, and by the end, he had no idea that he was capable of beauty and happiness. We all knew that it had the potential to end this way, but we all prayed that he would finally decide to reach out for help. The only good that will come of his death is that he's not suffering anymore. But I can't say the same for Aunt Rhoda, or anyone else who loved him. I can't imagine the horror of watching your kid deteriorate and die like this. It's just so wrong.
Good bye, Anj. I love you, man.
Some of you might remember the discouraging stories about my cousin that have emerged over the last couple years. He's been walking around without proper diagnosis nor treatment for several years, getting more and more paranoid, isolated, and depressed. He most likely had paranoid schizophrenia, and the delusions of conspiracy and being under attack ruled his consciousness to the point that he wouldn't eat food offered him (poison), couldn't sleep in the homes of people who loved him (he was constantly afraid of being gassed), wouldn't take showers (he was convinced that whoever put the toxins on his body wanted them to wash into his body) or accept offers of clothing or help with his mental health (of course drugs or any kind of intervention were all part of the conspiracy). The safety and solace that we offered to him were received ambivalently at the very best, but often, in his delusional perspective, seemed malicious, poisonous, murderous.
He was never violent--only turned terribly inward to his despondence and sadness and fear. He was an amazing blues guitarist, but hardly picked up an instrument in the last two years because he was so defeated. His life was (I can't believe I'm using the past tense) emblematic of how tragic the loss of someone young can be: he was boundlessly creative and talented and funny and kind, and by the end, he had no idea that he was capable of beauty and happiness. We all knew that it had the potential to end this way, but we all prayed that he would finally decide to reach out for help. The only good that will come of his death is that he's not suffering anymore. But I can't say the same for Aunt Rhoda, or anyone else who loved him. I can't imagine the horror of watching your kid deteriorate and die like this. It's just so wrong.
Good bye, Anj. I love you, man.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Ranking
Astrid and I just wasted two hours (a collective four!) ranking movies on Netflix. We finally succumbed to membership after the unfortunate incident in which we ended up shelling out $30.00 in late fees for a single Buffy disc. Ranking, listing, and otherwise documenting one's tastes and proclivities is such a sexy wormhole to fall into. We could've actually watched one of the movies we rented in that time. Gah!
kisses,
Bree
P.S. Dax is whining about not being included in my Cast list yet. I think she needs to do something noteworthy first. ;)
kisses,
Bree
P.S. Dax is whining about not being included in my Cast list yet. I think she needs to do something noteworthy first. ;)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Anxiety or Indigestion?
I feel happy and motivated for the new term* at school. I feel cozy and homey and lusciously fulfilled in my new home with Astrid. So what is this rumbly, tense feeling in my stomach? It might be that I've applied to three sites for clinical internships, have been rejected by two and am waiting on the other still, while most of my classmates already have placements for next year. It might be that I hate bookkeeping and I can't believe I still have to show up and work tomorrow, Friday, and every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the next several months, and that even though I'm quitting all my paid gigs come summer in order to make time for school, internship, and thesis, I really should continue to work 'cause I'm gonna be broke-ass-broke next year.
Or maybe it's the cheeseburger, fries, and shake I had for dinner between classes tonight.
_____________________
*My graduate program refers to terms as "trimesters," because we have three per school year. It's essentially a quarter system with no summer quarter, thus, the "trimester" system. As I tend to associate that word with pregnancy, you'll understand why I usually refer to the demarcation of time at New College by "term" rather than by "trimester." Though, as many friends have joked, after the third trimester of my second year, I'll have myself a bouncing baby master's degree.
Or maybe it's the cheeseburger, fries, and shake I had for dinner between classes tonight.
_____________________
*My graduate program refers to terms as "trimesters," because we have three per school year. It's essentially a quarter system with no summer quarter, thus, the "trimester" system. As I tend to associate that word with pregnancy, you'll understand why I usually refer to the demarcation of time at New College by "term" rather than by "trimester." Though, as many friends have joked, after the third trimester of my second year, I'll have myself a bouncing baby master's degree.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Chicken Breast Envy
What would happen if I actually bothered to write a little snippet on a daily or almost-daily basis? Would my entries all suck? Hmm...
Tonight, I got home from work, and DJ was here, having beers with Astrid. A was prepped to make her deee-licicious saffron rice pilaf, but needed onions and parsley from the store. We'd pulled out a couple o' skinless chicken breasts, and I was gonna make my yummy Michael Chiarello recipe, except healthier (usually use the whole chicken, which is fan-fucking-finger-licking-tastic). So I went to ye ol' supermarket across the way and picked up the ingredients for the rice and some salad things and some more skinless breasts.
The meal was tastey! I'm pleased to report that the healthy way is darned good (but certainly not as wonderful as the whole, crispy bird, with all that mouth-watering fresh rosemary, lemon zest, and salt encrusting and sealing the skin so the juices are bursting with every...oh god, make it stop! Yeah, the skinless breasts were...pretty good.
We three then watched the next installment in the Buffy marathon, on disc two of Season 3, Band Candy. Great episode (link has spoilers).
Should go to bed now.
'Night!
--Bree
Tonight, I got home from work, and DJ was here, having beers with Astrid. A was prepped to make her deee-licicious saffron rice pilaf, but needed onions and parsley from the store. We'd pulled out a couple o' skinless chicken breasts, and I was gonna make my yummy Michael Chiarello recipe, except healthier (usually use the whole chicken, which is fan-fucking-finger-licking-tastic). So I went to ye ol' supermarket across the way and picked up the ingredients for the rice and some salad things and some more skinless breasts.
The meal was tastey! I'm pleased to report that the healthy way is darned good (but certainly not as wonderful as the whole, crispy bird, with all that mouth-watering fresh rosemary, lemon zest, and salt encrusting and sealing the skin so the juices are bursting with every...oh god, make it stop! Yeah, the skinless breasts were...pretty good.
We three then watched the next installment in the Buffy marathon, on disc two of Season 3, Band Candy. Great episode (link has spoilers).
Should go to bed now.
'Night!
--Bree
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Revolt!
My body is revolting, in both senses of that word: Astrid and I rolled back into town at 3:00 am Monday morning from an amazing spring break road trip down the coast and through the desert (more to come on that). I then had about four hours of sleep before having to work Monday, and then collapse and wake and start my third quarter at school on Tuesday. That morning, a bad sore throat came on, which I proceeded to medicate with mass quantities of ibuprofen. By yesterday, the pain not having abated, and with the additional symptoms of an annoying ringing in my right ear and head congestion that was making everyone’s voices, including my own, sound like echoing effects box noise, I decided to call in sick to work and head over to Kaiser to get screened for strep throat and ear infection.
So I went in, and the doctor was pretty convinced it wasn’t strep (no fever, and my throat was “pink” but not “red and beefy” (I loved this description) but we took a swab anyway, just to be sure. I did, however, have an ear infection, so I couldn’t escape the prescription for antibiotics (counting the days til the yeast infection hits). I also talked to the doc about some other chronic problems I’ve been having, most important of which are an on/off chronic cough, which I have been attributing to allergies or my acid reflux, and a recent wheezing with exhalation I’ve noticed in the last couple months. She ordered up a chest x-ray and some lung tests for me, and I spent the next few hours making additional co-payments and waiting around for the lab, the radiologist, and my scripts for amoxicillin and a generic for Flonase, as an experiment in seeing whether a post-nasal drip is causing my cough (“Flonase,” by the way, has got to be one of the most disgusting brand names ever! Every time I hear that word, all I can think of is mayonnaise made of snot).
I got home from the doc in the afternoon, still feeling shitty, but glad that I’d taken care of stuff. I watched The Big Lebowski, a movie I have always enjoyed, but had a hard time making sense of, and as it’s a movie that Astrid and DJ often refer to, I charged myself with becoming fluent. I can now say that I finally get how clever and funny it is, and how every seemingly random and unprovoked action leads to a necessary turn in the plot. I think I'll watch it many more times, actually. Unfortunately, throughout the day, another very annoying symptom was manifesting: I had managed to contract an eye infection. It couldn’t have showed itself when I had audience with the doctor, right? So, on top of the sore throat, ear infection and the lesser symptoms of coughing, snotty nose, etc., I also have to deal with a gunky, disgusting eye. Fun weekend.
DJ and I were supposed to see Ted Leo tonight, and I’m really bummed to be missing it. Loud rock show + ear infection = not so nice. DJ made the very tongue-in-cheek remark that the reverb effect in my head from the infection might make the show “trippier” – which we both agreed might have been compelling at Laser Floyd, but probably not an indie-politico-punk show. I probably also have to miss my dear friend Magna’s party tomorrow night in celebration of her white coat ceremony. She’s a D.O. student entering into her clinical training, and she and the gf, Dori, are having a wine party to encourage early staining of the white coat. I can’t believe I have to miss it. I may feel a bit better tomorrow, but I can’t quite picture myself socializing successfully with a pounding ear and a squinty, dripping eye. Great company I’ll make, no doubt.
Instead, extra Buffy episodes and finally writing a blog entry – woot!
xo - Bree
So I went in, and the doctor was pretty convinced it wasn’t strep (no fever, and my throat was “pink” but not “red and beefy” (I loved this description) but we took a swab anyway, just to be sure. I did, however, have an ear infection, so I couldn’t escape the prescription for antibiotics (counting the days til the yeast infection hits). I also talked to the doc about some other chronic problems I’ve been having, most important of which are an on/off chronic cough, which I have been attributing to allergies or my acid reflux, and a recent wheezing with exhalation I’ve noticed in the last couple months. She ordered up a chest x-ray and some lung tests for me, and I spent the next few hours making additional co-payments and waiting around for the lab, the radiologist, and my scripts for amoxicillin and a generic for Flonase, as an experiment in seeing whether a post-nasal drip is causing my cough (“Flonase,” by the way, has got to be one of the most disgusting brand names ever! Every time I hear that word, all I can think of is mayonnaise made of snot).
I got home from the doc in the afternoon, still feeling shitty, but glad that I’d taken care of stuff. I watched The Big Lebowski, a movie I have always enjoyed, but had a hard time making sense of, and as it’s a movie that Astrid and DJ often refer to, I charged myself with becoming fluent. I can now say that I finally get how clever and funny it is, and how every seemingly random and unprovoked action leads to a necessary turn in the plot. I think I'll watch it many more times, actually. Unfortunately, throughout the day, another very annoying symptom was manifesting: I had managed to contract an eye infection. It couldn’t have showed itself when I had audience with the doctor, right? So, on top of the sore throat, ear infection and the lesser symptoms of coughing, snotty nose, etc., I also have to deal with a gunky, disgusting eye. Fun weekend.
DJ and I were supposed to see Ted Leo tonight, and I’m really bummed to be missing it. Loud rock show + ear infection = not so nice. DJ made the very tongue-in-cheek remark that the reverb effect in my head from the infection might make the show “trippier” – which we both agreed might have been compelling at Laser Floyd, but probably not an indie-politico-punk show. I probably also have to miss my dear friend Magna’s party tomorrow night in celebration of her white coat ceremony. She’s a D.O. student entering into her clinical training, and she and the gf, Dori, are having a wine party to encourage early staining of the white coat. I can’t believe I have to miss it. I may feel a bit better tomorrow, but I can’t quite picture myself socializing successfully with a pounding ear and a squinty, dripping eye. Great company I’ll make, no doubt.
Instead, extra Buffy episodes and finally writing a blog entry – woot!
xo - Bree
Sunday, March 25, 2007
What I'm doing instead of writing my term paper...
It's not like the topic is bland or anything: development psychology and queerness, basically. I'm working with a classmate on a paper and class presentation due on Thursday. What have I done today, my last free day to work on it?
- dustbustered the stairway
- installed a coat rack in the hall
- ate oatmeal w/ Astrid
- played around on Myspace, Friendster, and Orkut (and deleted my account on the latter)
- took a bath
- read Rolling Stone.
It's the last week of the term. I have an interview for a clinical internship next week. It's at a hospice program, which is one of the areas in which I'm most interested in working. Scary, though--the idea of several or all of my clients dying during the course of the year I'd be working with them. Strangely enough, working with dying and grieving people seems to me some of the work that I'm most suited for. I have yet to grasp how many of my old emotional buttons this will push.
Off to waste more time before sitting down with the paper.
xo
Bree
- dustbustered the stairway
- installed a coat rack in the hall
- ate oatmeal w/ Astrid
- played around on Myspace, Friendster, and Orkut (and deleted my account on the latter)
- took a bath
- read Rolling Stone.
It's the last week of the term. I have an interview for a clinical internship next week. It's at a hospice program, which is one of the areas in which I'm most interested in working. Scary, though--the idea of several or all of my clients dying during the course of the year I'd be working with them. Strangely enough, working with dying and grieving people seems to me some of the work that I'm most suited for. I have yet to grasp how many of my old emotional buttons this will push.
Off to waste more time before sitting down with the paper.
xo
Bree
Saturday, March 10, 2007
My Gripes with the GLBT Movement (or, really, one of the most visible representatives of it)
Some of you out there know that I used to work for Human Rights Campaign. I helped open their San Francisco Action Center Store in the Castro, and, thanks to my background fundraising for Peace Action back in the day, I was able to recruit for them a nice li'l pile of members during the year I worked there.
Ultimately, I think the organization plays an important role in the movement for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender equality--they're well-funded, well-organized, and media-savvy. Their core issues: marriage equality and LGBT family issues, workplace discrimination, health and other human rights issues related specifically to GLBT folks are all crucial issues needing organized advocacy.
But I find that too often, they fall to the right of where I am politically, and I know that I'm not the only one with this complaint. The classic examples are their focus on the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, their disproportionate focus on the marriage issue which many progressive queers have no interest in, and famously, their willingness to endorse conservative candidates, sometimes in "lesser of two evils" strategies and sometimes simply to endorse incumbants so as to appear more in line with their perception of how "most GLBTs might vote" (HRC endorsed Bob Casey in PA, who I've blogged about, Joseph Lieberman, and even GOP candidate Alphonse D'Amato against Charles Schumer in the 1998 senate race in New York).
Any old way, the following is a letter I wrote to HRC this week about the hubub around Ann Coulter calling presidential candidate John Edwards a "faggot." As you'll see, I don't fundamentally disagree with HRC's strategy on this issue, but I am appalled by the language they use to frame this debate. First, I present to you the letter, then HRC's response, then, navel-gazingly, my response to their response. Bonus: I also included a letter to them I sent two years ago about the gays-in-the-military issue, to which they'd never gotten around to responding. HRC's email to me this week addressed both letters. Enjoy, and of course, feel free to add your two or three cents.
xo - Bree
* * * * *
March 6, via email:
Hi there,
I'm contacting you regarding the goal of your message on Ann Coulter. I am shocked and disappointed at the wording of your take-home message:
"It's time to remove Ann Coulter from public discourse!" (emphasized by appearing in your action alert in large, bold, blue font).
There is no question that Coulter's use of the word "faggot" to demean John Edwards was wrong, and that HRC should take action on this issue. I do not disagree with the tactic of alerting HRC members and the public at large and encouraging a consumer boycott of companies who publish her and sponsor her site. But in suggesting that Coulter should be "removed from public discourse," we are playing right into the hands of those who would discredit us: this is the cry of censorship, and, taken out of context (and I promise you, that pull quote will be taken out of context) it is a dangerous sentiment to espouse. Not only will conservatives jump all over HRC as "un-American," this statement will be seen by progressive GLBT folks (myself included) as a telltale sign that HRC does not represent their/our interests. Freedom of speech is a constitutional right, even when the speaker is an inarticulate asshole.
As an HRC member and a former Action Center staffer (San Francisco store), I am invested in the goals of the Human Rights Campaign, and I want to see the organization continue to grow and become a more inclusive, diverse, and effective agent for change on GLBT rights. To that end, I feel that I have an obligation to be critical of the organization when I see it veering in the wrong direction. I also feel that I have a right to a thoughtful response on this issue, and I would appreciate just that (I contacted you on a different issue previously, and received nothing back. Below, please find a copy of that message, which I sent originally in March of 2005, even before I worked at the HRC store in the Castro.)
As always, I appreciate your hard work in the fight for GLBT equality.
Thank you for taking the time to read this message.
Bree
San Francisco, CA
Previous email from March, 2005:
To the program staff at Human Rights Campaign,
Hi. I hope this message finds you well.
I'm a member of HRC and also, myself, a pacifist and a firm opponent
of U.S. military aggression around the world. I understand the
importance of eliminating discrimination against gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered armed service members, and I support HRC's
policy to work on this issue. But I also feel strongly that GLBT
organizations must come out decisively against U.S. militarism, the
so-called "War on Terror," and against the inherent racism, sexism,
and homophobia embedded in the culture of militarism. We are natural
allies to cause of peace and global justice, and we need to start
treating this issue as the core value it should be in all our work to
combat homophobia.
GLBT Americans share a bond with every innocent Iraqi being targeted
by U.S. armed forces abroad, and we share a bond with every Arab and
Muslim in our own country being subjected to hate crimes, illegal
detentions, and the undue disruption of their lives on a daily basis
as a result of this brutal, endless war. We share a bond with every
human being who has been labeled "The Enemy," and I cannot, in good
conscience, actively take part in a campaign that, while right-minded,
is essentially helping to bolster the ranks of the U.S. military. I
do not want to see my gay, lesbian, bi, and transgendered brothers and
sisters turned into agents of a hateful, murderous foreign policy, not
to mention turned into cannon fodder in the process.
Please respond, and let me know what HRC is planning to do to denounce
U.S. militarism and the racist scapegoating being carried out in our
names as GLBT Americans.
Thank you so very much for your work, it does not go unappreciated.
Sincere regards,
Bree
San Francisco, CA
HRC's response
March 7, 2007
Dear Bree,
Thank you for contacting the Human Rights Campaign regarding censorship and the First Amendment.
We take freedom of speech and First Amendment issues very seriously, and we understand your concerns.
We believe that this is not a question of censorship. There are plenty of other people on the right who share Coulter’s values and views but understand the value of civility and respect.
Ann Coulter is free to spew her vile and hateful speech but as a community we are also free to exercise our collective power. And when Coulter defends herself on Fox News by saying “‘faggot’ isn’t offensive to gays,” it is our responsibility to make sure she, and those who carry her columns, understand that we know otherwise. “Faggot” is a loaded word — a word that too often is used as a weapon to demean and wound our community.
If she had made a racist or anti-Semitic remark, there would not have even been a question of whether a newspaper should continue carrying her columns. We must speak out in order to move the “F word” into that same column of universally understood hate speech.
I also want to address the email you sent us 2 years ago, I truly apologize that you never received a response as member services does attempt to answer all inquiries. As you know HRC’s mission and statement of purpose due to your work experience I’m sure you know that HRC works specifically on GLBT issues and securing equality. The war in Iraq and the atrocities occurring there are certainly sad and difficult for the entire nation to accept however commenting on the status is not within HRC’s domain. However, HRC is working to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” the U.S. policy on gays in the military that forces people to be dishonest about their personal lives or be fired. You can learn more about our campaign by visiting: http://www.hrc.org/alva/dadt.html
I hope I answered your questions and concerns.
Thank you again for contacting us and if you have any other questions please do not hesitate to contact me directly.
Respectfully,
Lisette
Human Rights Campaign
1640 Rhode Island Ave NW
Washington, DC 20036-3278
Phone 202.216.1525
Fax 202.216.1505
hrc@hrc.org
And here is MY response to THEIR response: (which has, of course, not been responded to)
March 8, 2007
Hi Lisette,
Thank you so much for the quick response. As I had said in my original letter, I support HRC's action on this issue, and agree that Coulter's use of the word "faggot" in this incident should be condemned. I also made clear that I agreed with your tactic of calling for a consumer boycott, a strategy that has been effective time after time in movements for social change. I appreciate your response, and will think more about the implications of language and the responsibility that publications have in shutting down the use of hate speech.
But I still take issue with the conceptualization that informs this phrase, "to remove Coulter (or anyone) from public discourse." Sure, other conservatives are "civilized" (as civilized as, say, a right-wing preacher can be when condemning gays to hell, for example). Is that not "hate speech?" Where do we draw the line, in engaging in this "public discourse," between "hate speech" and "speech" or "beliefs?" And again, your tactics are not what I have issue with, but the way you approach the issue is what alarms me. We can still send a strong message to combat hate speech without calling for the outright elimination of speech we disagree with. I feel that your response failed to capture this subtle distinction. Remember, I'm not arguing with the tactics or goals; I'm at issue with the way the message has been crafted.
Thank you also for responding to my previous letter. I'm well aware of the limitations of the organization's mission, and of course I understand the strategic reasons that HRC won't take positions on issues it defines as beyond its purview. Again, though, I feel my main concern is being glossed over and not really acknowledged. Homophobia (along with racism and sexism) are at the core in a militaristic culture such as ours. Working for the inclusion of GLBT folks into the ranks of the military is, of course, one way to address homophobia. But it seems rather beside the point when we are not asking the question: why are we sending our people to kill and die in the first place?
When I attended the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender March on Washington in 1993, the issue of gays in the military was first entering into the national consciousness. I saw a sticker on someone's jacket there that read, "Don't join the military - dismantle it!" I loved that moment. Of course we must fight against discrimination in every sector of society, including within the military. I understand that that's your job, and I applaud you for it. But there must be some voice from inside the organization, inside the movement, calling for a reprioritizing of issues. I know I'm not the only one.
Thanks again for your time on this. If there is anyone in the national office who can speak further to these concerns, I would love to hear from them.
Take care,
Bree
Ultimately, I think the organization plays an important role in the movement for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender equality--they're well-funded, well-organized, and media-savvy. Their core issues: marriage equality and LGBT family issues, workplace discrimination, health and other human rights issues related specifically to GLBT folks are all crucial issues needing organized advocacy.
But I find that too often, they fall to the right of where I am politically, and I know that I'm not the only one with this complaint. The classic examples are their focus on the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, their disproportionate focus on the marriage issue which many progressive queers have no interest in, and famously, their willingness to endorse conservative candidates, sometimes in "lesser of two evils" strategies and sometimes simply to endorse incumbants so as to appear more in line with their perception of how "most GLBTs might vote" (HRC endorsed Bob Casey in PA, who I've blogged about, Joseph Lieberman, and even GOP candidate Alphonse D'Amato against Charles Schumer in the 1998 senate race in New York).
Any old way, the following is a letter I wrote to HRC this week about the hubub around Ann Coulter calling presidential candidate John Edwards a "faggot." As you'll see, I don't fundamentally disagree with HRC's strategy on this issue, but I am appalled by the language they use to frame this debate. First, I present to you the letter, then HRC's response, then, navel-gazingly, my response to their response. Bonus: I also included a letter to them I sent two years ago about the gays-in-the-military issue, to which they'd never gotten around to responding. HRC's email to me this week addressed both letters. Enjoy, and of course, feel free to add your two or three cents.
xo - Bree
* * * * *
March 6, via email:
Hi there,
I'm contacting you regarding the goal of your message on Ann Coulter. I am shocked and disappointed at the wording of your take-home message:
"It's time to remove Ann Coulter from public discourse!" (emphasized by appearing in your action alert in large, bold, blue font).
There is no question that Coulter's use of the word "faggot" to demean John Edwards was wrong, and that HRC should take action on this issue. I do not disagree with the tactic of alerting HRC members and the public at large and encouraging a consumer boycott of companies who publish her and sponsor her site. But in suggesting that Coulter should be "removed from public discourse," we are playing right into the hands of those who would discredit us: this is the cry of censorship, and, taken out of context (and I promise you, that pull quote will be taken out of context) it is a dangerous sentiment to espouse. Not only will conservatives jump all over HRC as "un-American," this statement will be seen by progressive GLBT folks (myself included) as a telltale sign that HRC does not represent their/our interests. Freedom of speech is a constitutional right, even when the speaker is an inarticulate asshole.
As an HRC member and a former Action Center staffer (San Francisco store), I am invested in the goals of the Human Rights Campaign, and I want to see the organization continue to grow and become a more inclusive, diverse, and effective agent for change on GLBT rights. To that end, I feel that I have an obligation to be critical of the organization when I see it veering in the wrong direction. I also feel that I have a right to a thoughtful response on this issue, and I would appreciate just that (I contacted you on a different issue previously, and received nothing back. Below, please find a copy of that message, which I sent originally in March of 2005, even before I worked at the HRC store in the Castro.)
As always, I appreciate your hard work in the fight for GLBT equality.
Thank you for taking the time to read this message.
Bree
San Francisco, CA
Previous email from March, 2005:
To the program staff at Human Rights Campaign,
Hi. I hope this message finds you well.
I'm a member of HRC and also, myself, a pacifist and a firm opponent
of U.S. military aggression around the world. I understand the
importance of eliminating discrimination against gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered armed service members, and I support HRC's
policy to work on this issue. But I also feel strongly that GLBT
organizations must come out decisively against U.S. militarism, the
so-called "War on Terror," and against the inherent racism, sexism,
and homophobia embedded in the culture of militarism. We are natural
allies to cause of peace and global justice, and we need to start
treating this issue as the core value it should be in all our work to
combat homophobia.
GLBT Americans share a bond with every innocent Iraqi being targeted
by U.S. armed forces abroad, and we share a bond with every Arab and
Muslim in our own country being subjected to hate crimes, illegal
detentions, and the undue disruption of their lives on a daily basis
as a result of this brutal, endless war. We share a bond with every
human being who has been labeled "The Enemy," and I cannot, in good
conscience, actively take part in a campaign that, while right-minded,
is essentially helping to bolster the ranks of the U.S. military. I
do not want to see my gay, lesbian, bi, and transgendered brothers and
sisters turned into agents of a hateful, murderous foreign policy, not
to mention turned into cannon fodder in the process.
Please respond, and let me know what HRC is planning to do to denounce
U.S. militarism and the racist scapegoating being carried out in our
names as GLBT Americans.
Thank you so very much for your work, it does not go unappreciated.
Sincere regards,
Bree
San Francisco, CA
HRC's response
March 7, 2007
Dear Bree,
Thank you for contacting the Human Rights Campaign regarding censorship and the First Amendment.
We take freedom of speech and First Amendment issues very seriously, and we understand your concerns.
We believe that this is not a question of censorship. There are plenty of other people on the right who share Coulter’s values and views but understand the value of civility and respect.
Ann Coulter is free to spew her vile and hateful speech but as a community we are also free to exercise our collective power. And when Coulter defends herself on Fox News by saying “‘faggot’ isn’t offensive to gays,” it is our responsibility to make sure she, and those who carry her columns, understand that we know otherwise. “Faggot” is a loaded word — a word that too often is used as a weapon to demean and wound our community.
If she had made a racist or anti-Semitic remark, there would not have even been a question of whether a newspaper should continue carrying her columns. We must speak out in order to move the “F word” into that same column of universally understood hate speech.
I also want to address the email you sent us 2 years ago, I truly apologize that you never received a response as member services does attempt to answer all inquiries. As you know HRC’s mission and statement of purpose due to your work experience I’m sure you know that HRC works specifically on GLBT issues and securing equality. The war in Iraq and the atrocities occurring there are certainly sad and difficult for the entire nation to accept however commenting on the status is not within HRC’s domain. However, HRC is working to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” the U.S. policy on gays in the military that forces people to be dishonest about their personal lives or be fired. You can learn more about our campaign by visiting: http://www.hrc.org/alva/dadt.html
I hope I answered your questions and concerns.
Thank you again for contacting us and if you have any other questions please do not hesitate to contact me directly.
Respectfully,
Lisette
Human Rights Campaign
1640 Rhode Island Ave NW
Washington, DC 20036-3278
Phone 202.216.1525
Fax 202.216.1505
hrc@hrc.org
And here is MY response to THEIR response: (which has, of course, not been responded to)
March 8, 2007
Hi Lisette,
Thank you so much for the quick response. As I had said in my original letter, I support HRC's action on this issue, and agree that Coulter's use of the word "faggot" in this incident should be condemned. I also made clear that I agreed with your tactic of calling for a consumer boycott, a strategy that has been effective time after time in movements for social change. I appreciate your response, and will think more about the implications of language and the responsibility that publications have in shutting down the use of hate speech.
But I still take issue with the conceptualization that informs this phrase, "to remove Coulter (or anyone) from public discourse." Sure, other conservatives are "civilized" (as civilized as, say, a right-wing preacher can be when condemning gays to hell, for example). Is that not "hate speech?" Where do we draw the line, in engaging in this "public discourse," between "hate speech" and "speech" or "beliefs?" And again, your tactics are not what I have issue with, but the way you approach the issue is what alarms me. We can still send a strong message to combat hate speech without calling for the outright elimination of speech we disagree with. I feel that your response failed to capture this subtle distinction. Remember, I'm not arguing with the tactics or goals; I'm at issue with the way the message has been crafted.
Thank you also for responding to my previous letter. I'm well aware of the limitations of the organization's mission, and of course I understand the strategic reasons that HRC won't take positions on issues it defines as beyond its purview. Again, though, I feel my main concern is being glossed over and not really acknowledged. Homophobia (along with racism and sexism) are at the core in a militaristic culture such as ours. Working for the inclusion of GLBT folks into the ranks of the military is, of course, one way to address homophobia. But it seems rather beside the point when we are not asking the question: why are we sending our people to kill and die in the first place?
When I attended the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender March on Washington in 1993, the issue of gays in the military was first entering into the national consciousness. I saw a sticker on someone's jacket there that read, "Don't join the military - dismantle it!" I loved that moment. Of course we must fight against discrimination in every sector of society, including within the military. I understand that that's your job, and I applaud you for it. But there must be some voice from inside the organization, inside the movement, calling for a reprioritizing of issues. I know I'm not the only one.
Thanks again for your time on this. If there is anyone in the national office who can speak further to these concerns, I would love to hear from them.
Take care,
Bree
Saturday, February 10, 2007
2006 Wrap!
Previous Years-in-Review
This shit's becoming an institution. Study up on the last three years of my life before moving on to Aught 6!
2005
2004
2003
Stuff that happened in 2006:
I'm opting for the bullet list, since I've been taking notes throughout the year. It's hard to convey how very much my life has changed in 2006, but the key words are: amazing new girlfriend and grad school. Here are just a few of the (mostly) high and (mercifully few) low points of the past year.
* became part of a writing group formed from my screenwriting class; continued to work on my script. I broke about 60 pages before getting distracted by the whole school thing.
* applied to motherfucking grad school!
* cultivated very important relationships with lovers and got myself some of the best friends in my life out of the process.
* took a trip to Asheville, North Carolina, with my family to see a stage production of Pippin directed by my neice, Halina (Read about a previous trip to Asheville here.) Took a few extra days out there to visit my dear friend Maggie and her husband and kids who moved to Chapel Hill a couple years ago.
* fell way the fuck in love with Astrid and asked her if she'd be my girlfriend while we were in the middle of drunken, passionate sex. She answered in the affirmative, though I remember her saying "Yes," and she remembers just nodding through teary eyes.
* been having the best sex of my life (see above)
*got accepted to motherfucking grad school!
* attended the weddings of two of my dearest friends, Lola and Ube.
* fell down a wooden staircase (at Ube's wedding, actually) and ended up with a thigh-bruise the size of my head.
* gave up my car and opted for the more pure, uncomplicated and less polluting (if a tad less convenient) non-motorist lifestyle. Viva la bicyclette!
* started motherfucking grad school!
* went to Astrid's high school reunion!! Met Ryan Brown, the most popular boy in school!
* met Astrid's family!!
* started another round of head-shrinkin' with a new therapist. This is a requirement of my grad program, but it's a well-timed foray back into this particular type of guided introspection. It's hard, but not nearly as excruciating as my last stint.
* discovered the joys of "drinking dreidel"
* rediscovered the joys of Tetris. The last time I was addicted to the game was, naturally, when I was a student twelve years ago and used it as a distraction from my reading. Old distractions die hard.
* when not playing Tetris, I've been reading about 200 pages a week for school.
* where previously I have identified as someone who gets into bands five to ten years after their heyday, this year I actually started listening to bands that, like, still exist. (Tip of the hat goes mainly to DJ for making me a shit-ton of excellent mixes, thus scoring the soundtrack to 2006. Thanks, man.)
* on a down note, my last remaining gradparent died at the end of the year. She was my dad's mother, in her late nineties, and had lived the last few years of her life in a nursing home in the Bronx. I bought a ticket for a red eye the day I heard the news and was able to make it to the funeral. I'm really glad I went, and was able to be there with my Aunt Melba and get to know my cousins and their kids a little bit. Rest in peace, Grandma.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And now, the annual run down of the (pop) culture I consumed.
My tried-n-true ratings system has two components, which I will dutifully explain here and now:
1. The Star System - to convey my idea of the "objective merit" of a piece of work (i.e. if I were a professional critic, these are the ratings I'd give).
zero = utter trash, and not in a good way.
one * = a redeeming aspect or two, but otherwise, shite.
two ** = enjoyable, but deeply flawed or ordinary
three *** = solid, definitely worthwhile.
four **** = truly stellar—highly recommended.
five ***** = flawless
2. Ranked-order - In each section, I will order from top of the list to bottom, the top indicating the read, flick, or show I enjoyed the most and the bottom being the work of least interest in the category. This ranking system may or may not correlate with whatever "objective merit" the thing might have.
I will share a brief example of my brilliant two-pronged rating system for the following three movies:
Annie Hall *****
Grease 2 **
Blade Runner ****
Annie Hall was fantastic, one of my favorite films of all time. In this case, my tastes gibe with the cultural zeitgeist, since the film was critically acclaimed and won four Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay. Grease 2 also happens to be one of my all-time favorite flicks, and I'm under no illusion that it was a "good film."
But nine times outta ten, I'd pick Adrian Zmed and Lorna Luft shimmying down a bowling lane singing about how they're gonna "score tonight" over Blade Runner, the beautifully filmed and innovative sci-fi classic that, I agree with all film nerds, is a truly compelling movie.
So you understand the system, right? Good. Let's proceed. Oh, and there might be a spoiler or two, just so's ya know.
The Books (and other printed matter) I read:
This section does not include my reading material for school. Nor does it include online reads, sides of cereal boxes, or highway signage. You're a little bit disappointed, aren't you?
The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton ***** An as yet unmarried 29 year old woman in turn-of-the-century New York, Lily Bart is driven to create a compelling future for herself. But her ambivalence to grasp at either love or the comforts of the Good Life lead to her descent from the apex of New York's upper crust society. Written in 1905, Wharton's beautifully crafted story remains uncannily comtemporary. It might actually be the best novel I've ever read.
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel ****
Illustrated autobiography about "Dykes to Watch Out For" comic artist Alison Bechdel's life and her relationship with her very troubled father. This graphic work of nonfiction was poignant, hilarious, disturbing, and strikingly detailed both in its visual artwork and written content. Highest recommendations!
Stranger Things Happen by Kelly Link **** Kelly Link's words are amazingly evocative and her phrasing packed with meaning. Stranger Things Happen, a book of surreal fairy tales, ghost stories, and characters immersed in any manner of otherworldliness is her first short story anthology. Can't wait to read her more recent collection, Magic For Beginners. Astrid says it's outta sight.
Dibs: In Search of Self by Virginia M. Axline *** A moving and fascinating account of a year's worth of non-directed play therapy sessions with a very disturbed child. This book is completely accessible to lay people (almost too easy to read), and I read it during the summer before I started the psych program.
Strangers in Paradise, Volumes One and Two by Terry Moore ***
Yet another comic series I'm getting hooked on, thanks to Astrid. A very satistying strip about two women, best friends, one in unrequited love with the other, and with a very dark past. The only major flaw I find is author Terry Moore's consistent use of very tired clichés in his dialogue. I imagine this is meant to mimick old school comics and pulp novels, because his gifts as a storyteller seem above it.
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman **+ This self-described "low culture manifesto" provided me many moments of nerdy Gen-X bliss, particularly while reading the chapter entitled "Sulking with Lisa Loeb on the Ice Planet Hoth." Klosterman and I are exactly the same age, both born in 1972, and so share an inquantifiable number of pop culture references. But I'm not impressed with his self-important reading of meaning in pop culture, divorced as it is from the real political economy. And, actually, I'm not down with his take on women, either. I don't fault him for certain aspects of the personal experiences he shared, even the anecdote about burning the exact same CD for two women he was dating at the same time. While this may ruffle a few feminist feathers out there, I find that kind of honest self-exposure to be authentic and admirable, even. But when he referred to Cameron Diaz (in relation to Penelope Cruz, in the movie Vanilla Sky) as a "repulsive hoebag" I wasn't amused. Ultimately, he's a guy writer writing for guys.
Dykes and Other Carbon-Based Life Forms to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel **** The 10th book in the DTWOF comic series. Basically, Bechdel is one of the key historians (dare I say "herstorians"...um, actually no, I won't dare) of contemporary lesbo life in America.
Freud for Beginners by Richard Appignanesi and Oscar Zarate **** A really fantastic illustrated history of Sigmund Freud, the granddaddy of modern psychoanalysis.
Godspeed by Lynn Breedlove *** Every dyke in San Francisco has read this novel, so I felt it my mission to keep up with the Lesbo-Joneses.
I've seen Lynnee perform with Tribe 8 and I've seen hir read at spoken word events and, while s/he's hilarious, obnoxious, and a powerful performer, I didn't expect to be impressed with hir prose. The novel was fast-moving, emotionally resonant, and overall, better than I'd anticipated.
The Loss that is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father by Maxine Harris, Ph.D. ** Being that my grief about my dead dad figures large in my life, and that I'm now pursuing a new career in psychotherapy, the timing was right for me to pick up a book about this big subject (just the title brought tears to my eyes in the bookstore). While I was moved by many of the anecdotes with the over 60 people interviewed by the author for this book, I found Harris's writing to be simplistic and unengaging. While she used her subjects' stories to illustrate useful psychological frameworks for understanding grief, her language remained flat, and the book is poorly edited. This would be a phenomenal subject for a documentary, in which these survivors of catastrophic grief could speak for themselves.
Some of the Parts by T Cooper ** An engaging, gender-bendy story about unconventional relationships in a loosely configured family unit, taking place in New York and Providence. I liked the characters a lot, but the writing, when I compared it to Kelly Link's first collection of stories (see above) felt pretty anemic to me. Sentences were just sentences. They weren't departures into the emotional worlds of the characters.
(A tip o' the hat to Astrid, who recommended or physically gave me about half the stuff I read this year. Thanks, dollface!)
Films in the Theater:
2006 was kinda lacklustre at the movies, I think. I didn't have time to see as many films as I'd have liked, though, so my list ain't exhaustive by far. I'm gonna try to be concise and stick to two or three line reviews here:
Little Miss Sunshine ****
One of the most genuinely funny movies I've seen in forever. In particular, an outstanding performance by Steve Carell and a plot that devolves downward and again into blissful comedic chaos.
Children of Men **** The last movie I saw in the theater in '06. A truly intelligent and provocative dystopian vision of the near-future—surprising fare from Hollywood.
Broken Flowers **** I loved this meandering, muted film by Jim Jarmusch. Bill Murray is great, as usual, and the supporting actors are brilliantly cast. Don't see it if you can't deal with a slow pace and a story that doesn't really "go anywhere." (I really liked that about it.)
Brick **** Inventive, fast-moving, and clever spin on the hard-boiled detetive genre, told from the point of view and millieu of suburban high school kids.
Nine to Five **** - revival at the Castro. One of the funniest social satires ever, and totally holds up more than 25 years after its debut. Fantastic performances by Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton, and of course Dabney Coleman as everybody's favorite "sexist egotistical lying hypocritical bigot."
Xanadu *** and Roller Boogie ** - double feature at the Castro. I hope I don't need to explain to you the campy brilliance of Xanadu...maybe you should just watch a bit for yourself. I can't say that 1979's Roller Boogie is as timeless a film, but it's a pretty amazing period piece, and, hell, you get to watch Linda Blair's whole body spin around in this one! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Sing-A-Long-Grease **** - again, a revival at the Castro. I found the hosts of the feature to be a bit overbearing - they actually had the nerve to tell me when to throw my pink slip in the air, and how to react when Rizzo came on screen! But seeing the film on the big screen and singing how Greased Lightnin' "makes the chicks cream" at the top of my lungs - priceless.
Scoop *** Woody Allen's second film featuring his fantasy leading lady of the Aughts, Scarlett Johansson. I found it to be a solid Woody flick, except that his portrayal of a (what else but) neurotic magician this time 'round was enough to inure me to that bit of his for all time forward.
Pirates of the Caribbean II – Dead Man's Chest *** - very fun, glad I saw it on the big screen. I found the plot twist at the end to be a verbatim repetition of format from the first movie, but other than that, totally entertaining.
I couldn't stop picturing Davy Jones every time Davy Jones was onscreen though.
A Closer Walk *** - a documentary about the global impact of HIV/AIDS, narrated by Will Smith and Glenn Glose. I felt the narration to be heavy-handed, but the global devastation of AIDS pretty much needs to be pounded into our heads, so, yeah.
Why We Fight ** - I found this documentary unremarkable, probably because I'm already very fluent with the subject matter. The interviews and footage were compelling, and I would recommend seeing it if you are unfamiliar with the economic politics of the weapons industry and its influence on the foreign policy of the United States.
The Fountain ** - Darren Aronofsky movie with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. See the mixed reviews at Rotten Tomatoes for a good sampling of opinions. Other than the visual artistry of the movie, the flick sucked. Instead of listening to the sappy, redundant storyline, I wish I could've just muted it and put on Dark Side of the Moon.
Toward the end of the movie, when the protagonist assumes the lotus position as he is about to unite in cosmic love with a supernova, I couldn't muffle my laughter anymore. The woman in the seat in front of me turned around and told me to "Stop it!" I apologized, and explained that laughter was my authentic response to the movie. She didn't appreciate this.
On DVD/Video:
TV Shows:
Six Feet Under, Season 5 (the final season) ***** The finale fucking floored me.
Friends, Season 10 (also the final season) *** On the whole, the last three seasons weren't as good as the first seven. I think the shark jump was approximately the birth of Emma. Whadduya think?
Don't blame it on Chandler and Monica's new twins. Emma already ruined the show two seasons ago!
The L Word (finished Season 2, and watched the complete Season 3) *** The drama picked up with characters dying, babies being kidnapped--and despite the schmaltzy writing in a few of the episodes, the cliff hanger season finale was a doosey. Disappointment of the season: Max, the only transgendered character on the show, is a complete asshole, and the actress playing him is unconvincing whether male-identified or no.
Films:
The Squid and the Whale **** - uncomfortable, subtle, brilliant. A sixteen year-old boy (Jesse Eisenberg tries on different identities, including that of his asshole intellectual snob father (Jeff Daniels in a superb performance) while coping with his parents' divorce. Set in Park Slope in the 1980's and also stars the reliably nuanced Laura Linney. [P.S. I think Eisenberg would be amazing in the title role if there's ever a biopic made about Nick Drake]
The Conformist ***** (tentative rating) one of the best films I've ever seen, although the jury's still out because I kept dozing off while watching it (renting an Italian DVD with subtitles is not a good idea when one is jet-lagged).
Junebug **** Hilarious, realistic glimpse into the bowels of a Southern family as their metrosexual golden boy, the eldest of two sons, returns home with his girlfriend, a city-slicker art dealer intent on discovering the next Picasso in the backwoods.
Amy Adams as Ashley Johnsten in Junebug
Thumbsucker *** a 17 year old kid still sucks his thumb. Drama and comedy ensue.
The Tibetan Book of the Dead: A Way of Life and The Great Liberation *** Fascinating made-for-Canadian-TV documentary about the Tibetan Buddhist rituals for the dead and dying. Though the imagery of family members in prayer around their dead loved ones was moving and shocking to my Western eyes, the slow pace and Leonard Cohen's low drawling narration almost put me to sleep at times.
Match Point ** I liked it more than I thought I would, but it's not one of Woody's best.
Pirates of the Caribbean – The Curse of the Black Pearl *** Fun for the whole family.
24 Hours on Craigslist** we were long overdue to get a documentary about Craigslist, the beloved online community where you can find a new apartment, a new job, a new lover, and a new couch. Unfortunately, this one is pretty crappy.
Star Trek – The Movie** Despite (or, really, because of) its hokiness, I enjoyed this fantastically bad first installment of the Star Trek film franchise, part of a Star Trek-a-thon Astrid and I have been partaking in with our pals, Calisto and Dave.
The Lost Weekend ***
The Oscar-winner for Best Picture in 1946, I found this film technically good but tiresome to watch. I kept wanting there to be more of a premise for Don Birnam's draw to the bottle, other than his failure as a writer. One of the booziest movies ever made, DJ and I quite enjoyed drinking our Manhattans while we watched Don devolve into a drunken torpor.
Pippin ** I watched this in preparation for seeing Halina's play in North Carolina. All I have to say is Ben Vereen = good, William Katt = baaaaaadddd.
Friends with Money ** A few keepable moments and a compelling cast, but overall, kinda boring, honestly. DJ put it well when he said that the parts didn't add up to much.
Evil Dead II ** Would probably have enjoyed this one more if Dax hadn't been snoring in my lap the entire time I was watching it (it had been her request, after all!)
Art School Confidential * This review captures my feeling about this infantile, sexist romp. I loved Ghost World, but this flick has permanently turned me off Daniel Clowes and Terry Zwigoff.
Lonesome Jim ** I was excited to see this little indy film directed by Steve Buscemi, but alas, almost totally unremarkable. In honor of the milquetoasty, unlikeable and untrustworthy main character, played by Casey Affleck, Astrid has dubbed this film with the perfect alternative title, "Feckless Jim."
Julie Johnson
I give it Zero Stars, can you believe, with a cast including Lily Taylor, Courtney Love and my dear, departed Spalding Gray?—all of 'em, wasted, on one of the worst scripts that's ever been produced. For reals.
On the Rerun:
Hairspray
Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan
About a Boy
Star Trek III – The Search for Spock
Live Music:
Pinback at Bimbo’s, San Francisco **** Fantastic live show.
Jonathan Richman at The Make Out Room, San Francisco **** As usual, Jonathan delights.
The Starlight Mints ****, Dios Malos ***, and The Octopus Project ** at the Bottom of the Hill, San Francisco
Aimee Mann *** and Seu Jorge *** at Stern Grove, San Francisco. I've seen Aimee Mann live a few times and this open-air venue wasn't the best way to see her. Seu Jorge was really great, though I'm not very familiar with his music.
Replicator – The Hemlock Tavern, San Francisco *** Loud fucking left-wing nerd-noise rock.
The Matinées ***, Warren Teagarden **, and The Slow Poisoner*** at the Edinburgh Castle, San Francisco
The Mekons, acoustic set at The Hardly-Strictly Blugrass Festival, Golden Gate Park ** I prefer this legendary and sorely underrated first-wave British punk band plugged in, myself.
Live Performances:
Orbit **** – The Erika Shuch Performance Project at Intersection for the Arts, San Francisco
Pippin **** stage production at Warren Wilson College in Asheville, North Carolina
Kathy Griffin *** at The Warfield, San Francisco.
Fin
This shit's becoming an institution. Study up on the last three years of my life before moving on to Aught 6!
2005
2004
2003
Stuff that happened in 2006:
I'm opting for the bullet list, since I've been taking notes throughout the year. It's hard to convey how very much my life has changed in 2006, but the key words are: amazing new girlfriend and grad school. Here are just a few of the (mostly) high and (mercifully few) low points of the past year.
* became part of a writing group formed from my screenwriting class; continued to work on my script. I broke about 60 pages before getting distracted by the whole school thing.
* applied to motherfucking grad school!
* cultivated very important relationships with lovers and got myself some of the best friends in my life out of the process.
* took a trip to Asheville, North Carolina, with my family to see a stage production of Pippin directed by my neice, Halina (Read about a previous trip to Asheville here.) Took a few extra days out there to visit my dear friend Maggie and her husband and kids who moved to Chapel Hill a couple years ago.
* fell way the fuck in love with Astrid and asked her if she'd be my girlfriend while we were in the middle of drunken, passionate sex. She answered in the affirmative, though I remember her saying "Yes," and she remembers just nodding through teary eyes.
* been having the best sex of my life (see above)
*got accepted to motherfucking grad school!
* attended the weddings of two of my dearest friends, Lola and Ube.
* fell down a wooden staircase (at Ube's wedding, actually) and ended up with a thigh-bruise the size of my head.
* gave up my car and opted for the more pure, uncomplicated and less polluting (if a tad less convenient) non-motorist lifestyle. Viva la bicyclette!
* started motherfucking grad school!
* went to Astrid's high school reunion!! Met Ryan Brown, the most popular boy in school!
* met Astrid's family!!
* started another round of head-shrinkin' with a new therapist. This is a requirement of my grad program, but it's a well-timed foray back into this particular type of guided introspection. It's hard, but not nearly as excruciating as my last stint.
* discovered the joys of "drinking dreidel"
* rediscovered the joys of Tetris. The last time I was addicted to the game was, naturally, when I was a student twelve years ago and used it as a distraction from my reading. Old distractions die hard.
* when not playing Tetris, I've been reading about 200 pages a week for school.
* where previously I have identified as someone who gets into bands five to ten years after their heyday, this year I actually started listening to bands that, like, still exist. (Tip of the hat goes mainly to DJ for making me a shit-ton of excellent mixes, thus scoring the soundtrack to 2006. Thanks, man.)
* on a down note, my last remaining gradparent died at the end of the year. She was my dad's mother, in her late nineties, and had lived the last few years of her life in a nursing home in the Bronx. I bought a ticket for a red eye the day I heard the news and was able to make it to the funeral. I'm really glad I went, and was able to be there with my Aunt Melba and get to know my cousins and their kids a little bit. Rest in peace, Grandma.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And now, the annual run down of the (pop) culture I consumed.
My tried-n-true ratings system has two components, which I will dutifully explain here and now:
1. The Star System - to convey my idea of the "objective merit" of a piece of work (i.e. if I were a professional critic, these are the ratings I'd give).
zero = utter trash, and not in a good way.
one * = a redeeming aspect or two, but otherwise, shite.
two ** = enjoyable, but deeply flawed or ordinary
three *** = solid, definitely worthwhile.
four **** = truly stellar—highly recommended.
five ***** = flawless
2. Ranked-order - In each section, I will order from top of the list to bottom, the top indicating the read, flick, or show I enjoyed the most and the bottom being the work of least interest in the category. This ranking system may or may not correlate with whatever "objective merit" the thing might have.
I will share a brief example of my brilliant two-pronged rating system for the following three movies:
Annie Hall *****
Grease 2 **
Blade Runner ****
Annie Hall was fantastic, one of my favorite films of all time. In this case, my tastes gibe with the cultural zeitgeist, since the film was critically acclaimed and won four Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay. Grease 2 also happens to be one of my all-time favorite flicks, and I'm under no illusion that it was a "good film."
But nine times outta ten, I'd pick Adrian Zmed and Lorna Luft shimmying down a bowling lane singing about how they're gonna "score tonight" over Blade Runner, the beautifully filmed and innovative sci-fi classic that, I agree with all film nerds, is a truly compelling movie.
So you understand the system, right? Good. Let's proceed. Oh, and there might be a spoiler or two, just so's ya know.
The Books (and other printed matter) I read:
This section does not include my reading material for school. Nor does it include online reads, sides of cereal boxes, or highway signage. You're a little bit disappointed, aren't you?
The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton ***** An as yet unmarried 29 year old woman in turn-of-the-century New York, Lily Bart is driven to create a compelling future for herself. But her ambivalence to grasp at either love or the comforts of the Good Life lead to her descent from the apex of New York's upper crust society. Written in 1905, Wharton's beautifully crafted story remains uncannily comtemporary. It might actually be the best novel I've ever read.
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel ****
Illustrated autobiography about "Dykes to Watch Out For" comic artist Alison Bechdel's life and her relationship with her very troubled father. This graphic work of nonfiction was poignant, hilarious, disturbing, and strikingly detailed both in its visual artwork and written content. Highest recommendations!
Stranger Things Happen by Kelly Link **** Kelly Link's words are amazingly evocative and her phrasing packed with meaning. Stranger Things Happen, a book of surreal fairy tales, ghost stories, and characters immersed in any manner of otherworldliness is her first short story anthology. Can't wait to read her more recent collection, Magic For Beginners. Astrid says it's outta sight.
Dibs: In Search of Self by Virginia M. Axline *** A moving and fascinating account of a year's worth of non-directed play therapy sessions with a very disturbed child. This book is completely accessible to lay people (almost too easy to read), and I read it during the summer before I started the psych program.
Strangers in Paradise, Volumes One and Two by Terry Moore ***
Yet another comic series I'm getting hooked on, thanks to Astrid. A very satistying strip about two women, best friends, one in unrequited love with the other, and with a very dark past. The only major flaw I find is author Terry Moore's consistent use of very tired clichés in his dialogue. I imagine this is meant to mimick old school comics and pulp novels, because his gifts as a storyteller seem above it. Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman **+ This self-described "low culture manifesto" provided me many moments of nerdy Gen-X bliss, particularly while reading the chapter entitled "Sulking with Lisa Loeb on the Ice Planet Hoth." Klosterman and I are exactly the same age, both born in 1972, and so share an inquantifiable number of pop culture references. But I'm not impressed with his self-important reading of meaning in pop culture, divorced as it is from the real political economy. And, actually, I'm not down with his take on women, either. I don't fault him for certain aspects of the personal experiences he shared, even the anecdote about burning the exact same CD for two women he was dating at the same time. While this may ruffle a few feminist feathers out there, I find that kind of honest self-exposure to be authentic and admirable, even. But when he referred to Cameron Diaz (in relation to Penelope Cruz, in the movie Vanilla Sky) as a "repulsive hoebag" I wasn't amused. Ultimately, he's a guy writer writing for guys.
Dykes and Other Carbon-Based Life Forms to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel **** The 10th book in the DTWOF comic series. Basically, Bechdel is one of the key historians (dare I say "herstorians"...um, actually no, I won't dare) of contemporary lesbo life in America.
Freud for Beginners by Richard Appignanesi and Oscar Zarate **** A really fantastic illustrated history of Sigmund Freud, the granddaddy of modern psychoanalysis.
Godspeed by Lynn Breedlove *** Every dyke in San Francisco has read this novel, so I felt it my mission to keep up with the Lesbo-Joneses.
I've seen Lynnee perform with Tribe 8 and I've seen hir read at spoken word events and, while s/he's hilarious, obnoxious, and a powerful performer, I didn't expect to be impressed with hir prose. The novel was fast-moving, emotionally resonant, and overall, better than I'd anticipated.
The Loss that is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father by Maxine Harris, Ph.D. ** Being that my grief about my dead dad figures large in my life, and that I'm now pursuing a new career in psychotherapy, the timing was right for me to pick up a book about this big subject (just the title brought tears to my eyes in the bookstore). While I was moved by many of the anecdotes with the over 60 people interviewed by the author for this book, I found Harris's writing to be simplistic and unengaging. While she used her subjects' stories to illustrate useful psychological frameworks for understanding grief, her language remained flat, and the book is poorly edited. This would be a phenomenal subject for a documentary, in which these survivors of catastrophic grief could speak for themselves.
Some of the Parts by T Cooper ** An engaging, gender-bendy story about unconventional relationships in a loosely configured family unit, taking place in New York and Providence. I liked the characters a lot, but the writing, when I compared it to Kelly Link's first collection of stories (see above) felt pretty anemic to me. Sentences were just sentences. They weren't departures into the emotional worlds of the characters.
(A tip o' the hat to Astrid, who recommended or physically gave me about half the stuff I read this year. Thanks, dollface!)
Films in the Theater:
2006 was kinda lacklustre at the movies, I think. I didn't have time to see as many films as I'd have liked, though, so my list ain't exhaustive by far. I'm gonna try to be concise and stick to two or three line reviews here:
Little Miss Sunshine **** One of the most genuinely funny movies I've seen in forever. In particular, an outstanding performance by Steve Carell and a plot that devolves downward and again into blissful comedic chaos.
Children of Men **** The last movie I saw in the theater in '06. A truly intelligent and provocative dystopian vision of the near-future—surprising fare from Hollywood.
Broken Flowers **** I loved this meandering, muted film by Jim Jarmusch. Bill Murray is great, as usual, and the supporting actors are brilliantly cast. Don't see it if you can't deal with a slow pace and a story that doesn't really "go anywhere." (I really liked that about it.)
Brick **** Inventive, fast-moving, and clever spin on the hard-boiled detetive genre, told from the point of view and millieu of suburban high school kids.
Nine to Five **** - revival at the Castro. One of the funniest social satires ever, and totally holds up more than 25 years after its debut. Fantastic performances by Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton, and of course Dabney Coleman as everybody's favorite "sexist egotistical lying hypocritical bigot."
Xanadu *** and Roller Boogie ** - double feature at the Castro. I hope I don't need to explain to you the campy brilliance of Xanadu...maybe you should just watch a bit for yourself. I can't say that 1979's Roller Boogie is as timeless a film, but it's a pretty amazing period piece, and, hell, you get to watch Linda Blair's whole body spin around in this one! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Sing-A-Long-Grease **** - again, a revival at the Castro. I found the hosts of the feature to be a bit overbearing - they actually had the nerve to tell me when to throw my pink slip in the air, and how to react when Rizzo came on screen! But seeing the film on the big screen and singing how Greased Lightnin' "makes the chicks cream" at the top of my lungs - priceless.
Scoop *** Woody Allen's second film featuring his fantasy leading lady of the Aughts, Scarlett Johansson. I found it to be a solid Woody flick, except that his portrayal of a (what else but) neurotic magician this time 'round was enough to inure me to that bit of his for all time forward.
Pirates of the Caribbean II – Dead Man's Chest *** - very fun, glad I saw it on the big screen. I found the plot twist at the end to be a verbatim repetition of format from the first movie, but other than that, totally entertaining.
I couldn't stop picturing Davy Jones every time Davy Jones was onscreen though.
A Closer Walk *** - a documentary about the global impact of HIV/AIDS, narrated by Will Smith and Glenn Glose. I felt the narration to be heavy-handed, but the global devastation of AIDS pretty much needs to be pounded into our heads, so, yeah.
Why We Fight ** - I found this documentary unremarkable, probably because I'm already very fluent with the subject matter. The interviews and footage were compelling, and I would recommend seeing it if you are unfamiliar with the economic politics of the weapons industry and its influence on the foreign policy of the United States.
The Fountain ** - Darren Aronofsky movie with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. See the mixed reviews at Rotten Tomatoes for a good sampling of opinions. Other than the visual artistry of the movie, the flick sucked. Instead of listening to the sappy, redundant storyline, I wish I could've just muted it and put on Dark Side of the Moon.
Toward the end of the movie, when the protagonist assumes the lotus position as he is about to unite in cosmic love with a supernova, I couldn't muffle my laughter anymore. The woman in the seat in front of me turned around and told me to "Stop it!" I apologized, and explained that laughter was my authentic response to the movie. She didn't appreciate this.On DVD/Video:
TV Shows:
Six Feet Under, Season 5 (the final season) ***** The finale fucking floored me.
Friends, Season 10 (also the final season) *** On the whole, the last three seasons weren't as good as the first seven. I think the shark jump was approximately the birth of Emma. Whadduya think?
Don't blame it on Chandler and Monica's new twins. Emma already ruined the show two seasons ago!The L Word (finished Season 2, and watched the complete Season 3) *** The drama picked up with characters dying, babies being kidnapped--and despite the schmaltzy writing in a few of the episodes, the cliff hanger season finale was a doosey. Disappointment of the season: Max, the only transgendered character on the show, is a complete asshole, and the actress playing him is unconvincing whether male-identified or no.
Films:
The Squid and the Whale **** - uncomfortable, subtle, brilliant. A sixteen year-old boy (Jesse Eisenberg tries on different identities, including that of his asshole intellectual snob father (Jeff Daniels in a superb performance) while coping with his parents' divorce. Set in Park Slope in the 1980's and also stars the reliably nuanced Laura Linney. [P.S. I think Eisenberg would be amazing in the title role if there's ever a biopic made about Nick Drake]
The Conformist ***** (tentative rating) one of the best films I've ever seen, although the jury's still out because I kept dozing off while watching it (renting an Italian DVD with subtitles is not a good idea when one is jet-lagged).
Junebug **** Hilarious, realistic glimpse into the bowels of a Southern family as their metrosexual golden boy, the eldest of two sons, returns home with his girlfriend, a city-slicker art dealer intent on discovering the next Picasso in the backwoods.
Amy Adams as Ashley Johnsten in Junebug
Thumbsucker *** a 17 year old kid still sucks his thumb. Drama and comedy ensue.
The Tibetan Book of the Dead: A Way of Life and The Great Liberation *** Fascinating made-for-Canadian-TV documentary about the Tibetan Buddhist rituals for the dead and dying. Though the imagery of family members in prayer around their dead loved ones was moving and shocking to my Western eyes, the slow pace and Leonard Cohen's low drawling narration almost put me to sleep at times.
Match Point ** I liked it more than I thought I would, but it's not one of Woody's best.
Pirates of the Caribbean – The Curse of the Black Pearl *** Fun for the whole family.
24 Hours on Craigslist** we were long overdue to get a documentary about Craigslist, the beloved online community where you can find a new apartment, a new job, a new lover, and a new couch. Unfortunately, this one is pretty crappy.
Star Trek – The Movie** Despite (or, really, because of) its hokiness, I enjoyed this fantastically bad first installment of the Star Trek film franchise, part of a Star Trek-a-thon Astrid and I have been partaking in with our pals, Calisto and Dave.
The Lost Weekend ***
The Oscar-winner for Best Picture in 1946, I found this film technically good but tiresome to watch. I kept wanting there to be more of a premise for Don Birnam's draw to the bottle, other than his failure as a writer. One of the booziest movies ever made, DJ and I quite enjoyed drinking our Manhattans while we watched Don devolve into a drunken torpor. Pippin ** I watched this in preparation for seeing Halina's play in North Carolina. All I have to say is Ben Vereen = good, William Katt = baaaaaadddd.
Friends with Money ** A few keepable moments and a compelling cast, but overall, kinda boring, honestly. DJ put it well when he said that the parts didn't add up to much.
Evil Dead II ** Would probably have enjoyed this one more if Dax hadn't been snoring in my lap the entire time I was watching it (it had been her request, after all!)
Art School Confidential * This review captures my feeling about this infantile, sexist romp. I loved Ghost World, but this flick has permanently turned me off Daniel Clowes and Terry Zwigoff.
Lonesome Jim ** I was excited to see this little indy film directed by Steve Buscemi, but alas, almost totally unremarkable. In honor of the milquetoasty, unlikeable and untrustworthy main character, played by Casey Affleck, Astrid has dubbed this film with the perfect alternative title, "Feckless Jim."
Julie Johnson
I give it Zero Stars, can you believe, with a cast including Lily Taylor, Courtney Love and my dear, departed Spalding Gray?—all of 'em, wasted, on one of the worst scripts that's ever been produced. For reals.On the Rerun:
Hairspray
Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan
About a Boy
Star Trek III – The Search for Spock
Live Music:
Pinback at Bimbo’s, San Francisco **** Fantastic live show.
Jonathan Richman at The Make Out Room, San Francisco **** As usual, Jonathan delights.
The Starlight Mints ****, Dios Malos ***, and The Octopus Project ** at the Bottom of the Hill, San Francisco
Aimee Mann *** and Seu Jorge *** at Stern Grove, San Francisco. I've seen Aimee Mann live a few times and this open-air venue wasn't the best way to see her. Seu Jorge was really great, though I'm not very familiar with his music.
Replicator – The Hemlock Tavern, San Francisco *** Loud fucking left-wing nerd-noise rock.
The Matinées ***, Warren Teagarden **, and The Slow Poisoner*** at the Edinburgh Castle, San Francisco
The Mekons, acoustic set at The Hardly-Strictly Blugrass Festival, Golden Gate Park ** I prefer this legendary and sorely underrated first-wave British punk band plugged in, myself.
Live Performances:
Orbit **** – The Erika Shuch Performance Project at Intersection for the Arts, San Francisco
Pippin **** stage production at Warren Wilson College in Asheville, North Carolina
Kathy Griffin *** at The Warfield, San Francisco.
Fin
Thursday, January 11, 2007
All About Bob
In an earlier entry, I made a cynical comment about Bob Casey, the conservative Democrat who replaced Rick Santorum in the Senate. While I'm tickled that Santorum is currently unemployed, I have long been disgruntled with the Democrats' failure to differentiate themselves from Republicans on many vital issues. Granted, a Bay Area Dem is a different breed than a Scranton, PA Dem, okay. And you've no doubt heard me rant about this issue before. Anyway, I don't wanna get too deep into this right now, but since my friend Sonia asked me to check out more about his precise stances on some key issues, I thought I'd do a cursory search and see what I could find about the guy. There's not much out there about him, partially because he's a freshman and doesn't have a voting record yet, and partially because he doesn't want to answer questions about his views, according to the good folks at Project Vote-Smart.
Here is an issue summary based on things Casey has said on record. If you click for the full quotes, there are expanded snippets from interviews. Based on his quotes, he wants Roe V. Wade overturned, he's pro-Patriot Act, pro-domestic wiretapping, and against any kind of gun control, including the renewal of an assault weapons ban. The guy is basically a Republican, except that he happens not to have it in for the gays for some reason (could this be because Rick Santorum was one of the worst homophobes in the Senate and the issue was a hot button in his race for the seat?)
I also found this interesting article focusing on his views about abortion.
His Catholic background is obviously what drives him on this issue and he doesn't seem too concerned about the separation of church and state. While I can't support his stance on abortion, I can appreciate the consistency with which he's applying his religious ethics—he seems to believe in the government's role in helping women out of poverty and addressing systemic issues that surround the care and education of children. Until we see his voting record, though, the jury is still out.
Peace and love, my dears.
Here is an issue summary based on things Casey has said on record. If you click for the full quotes, there are expanded snippets from interviews. Based on his quotes, he wants Roe V. Wade overturned, he's pro-Patriot Act, pro-domestic wiretapping, and against any kind of gun control, including the renewal of an assault weapons ban. The guy is basically a Republican, except that he happens not to have it in for the gays for some reason (could this be because Rick Santorum was one of the worst homophobes in the Senate and the issue was a hot button in his race for the seat?)
I also found this interesting article focusing on his views about abortion.
His Catholic background is obviously what drives him on this issue and he doesn't seem too concerned about the separation of church and state. While I can't support his stance on abortion, I can appreciate the consistency with which he's applying his religious ethics—he seems to believe in the government's role in helping women out of poverty and addressing systemic issues that surround the care and education of children. Until we see his voting record, though, the jury is still out.
Peace and love, my dears.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
New Bike Seat!
Some of you out there may know about my chronic vulvar difficulties. I've blogged about this before at l*mburger. Essentially, for about the last three years, I've had yearly recurrences of an abscess in my bartholin's gland (one of the secreting glands in the vulva, located to either side of the vaginal opening.) When an abscess occurs there, the area becomes inflamed and swollen, and it's pretty much the most painful thing I've ever experienced. It's excruciating to sit or walk, let alone to do anything more, shall we say "involved," with that part of the body (and you know how involved I like my vulva to be! ;) Anyway, if you'd like more information about bartholin's cysts/abscesses, I highly recommend The Bartholin Gland Site.
So the above photo is from Spongy Wonder.Com, the makers of my fantastic new bike seat! I've been riding it for about two months now, and I'm pleased to report that it's very comfortable, and saves me from that irksome tingling feeling that comes from the cutting off of the circulation in my twat. At first, the seat took some getting used to because it puts my body into a slightly different position on the bike, with just a touch more pressure on my arms and legs. But so far, so good. I'm able to go on longer rides now because I'm comfortable for longer periods of time, and I will keep you posted about the grody infections. Hopefully they're gone for good.
xo
Bree
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Homeowners Association Prez Gone Mad!
This just in from the clueless mofo department:
Peace sign creates stir
Can you believe the guy asked five board members to resign when they failed to do his will? Jeezus holy christ!
Peace sign creates stir
Can you believe the guy asked five board members to resign when they failed to do his will? Jeezus holy christ!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Ted Haggard Rocks My Ass Hole!
Can I just say that I hate Democrats, but not as much as Republicans? There, I said it. You have to love the news lately, right?
Some highlights:
*The Dems gain at least 25 seats in the House! Check out up-to-the-minute election results at NYTimes.com
*One of the most powerful leaders of the right-wing evangelical movement in America has admitted that he likes to suck big dick! See him preach the gospel in "Jesus Camp"
* Rick Santorum is out! (of the Senate, I mean, not the Closet...)
**note that Bob Casey, the Dem who beat Santorum is anti-abortion and anti-gun control--how's that for the Dems ushering in a "sea change" of ideology?
Some highlights:
*The Dems gain at least 25 seats in the House! Check out up-to-the-minute election results at NYTimes.com
*One of the most powerful leaders of the right-wing evangelical movement in America has admitted that he likes to suck big dick! See him preach the gospel in "Jesus Camp"
* Rick Santorum is out! (of the Senate, I mean, not the Closet...)
**note that Bob Casey, the Dem who beat Santorum is anti-abortion and anti-gun control--how's that for the Dems ushering in a "sea change" of ideology?
Friday, March 31, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Words, Real and Imagined*
A Wordy Archive
9/25/07
autochthony (aw-TOCK-th∂-nee), autochthonous - 1. (psychology) the notion of self-creation rooted in the omnipotent fantasies of the earliest developmental phases. A solipsistic fantasy that the self, the other, and the world are all generated from within. 2. (hard sciences, anthropology, archaeology) denoting an object or condition native or indigenous to a region or part of the body, as in customs of indignous people, rock formations, condition originating and located within a certain place inside a biological system or body. An "autochthonous blood clot" would be a clot discovered at the location it originated. From the Greek auto ("self," "same," "directed from within") and chthon ("earth" or "of the earth.")
(expanded definition!)
9/23/07
Shrinkitude - 1. The aptitude for being a psychotherapist, as in "Her listening skills show some real shrinkitude." 2. The attitude required therein, as in "He sets really firm boundaries--he must have some serious shrinkitude." 3. The bestowing of power onto the therapist by placing him/her/hir onto a pedestal (facetious), i.e. referring to the therapist as "Her Shrinkitude."
*With thanks to the Words of the Week
column at the dspot
9/25/07
autochthony (aw-TOCK-th∂-nee), autochthonous - 1. (psychology) the notion of self-creation rooted in the omnipotent fantasies of the earliest developmental phases. A solipsistic fantasy that the self, the other, and the world are all generated from within. 2. (hard sciences, anthropology, archaeology) denoting an object or condition native or indigenous to a region or part of the body, as in customs of indignous people, rock formations, condition originating and located within a certain place inside a biological system or body. An "autochthonous blood clot" would be a clot discovered at the location it originated. From the Greek auto ("self," "same," "directed from within") and chthon ("earth" or "of the earth.")
(expanded definition!)
9/23/07
Shrinkitude - 1. The aptitude for being a psychotherapist, as in "Her listening skills show some real shrinkitude." 2. The attitude required therein, as in "He sets really firm boundaries--he must have some serious shrinkitude." 3. The bestowing of power onto the therapist by placing him/her/hir onto a pedestal (facetious), i.e. referring to the therapist as "Her Shrinkitude."
*With thanks to the Words of the Week
column at the dspot
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